How Many Fish Eggs are in an Ounce of Caviar?: The Little Joys of Owning a Business
Wisconsin Marine Historical Society
Editors note: This article appeared in a Wisconsin Marine Historical Society publication based upon letters that Lincoln D. Smith of Smith Bros. had saved over the years. Originally, the letters were written between 1943 and 1944. The first part of the article has been transcribed to text. The remaining letters, due to their length, are as images.
In every business person’s life, there is that one moment when a customer inquires about some oddity regarding the business, providing laughs for years to come. Here we have a few letters that have been provided by Lincoln Smith, life time owner of Smith Brothers Fisheries that exhibits this oddity. Here is the introductory letter from Lincoln.Dear Mr. Plantico:
I believe that the editor is always looking for
different and new material to consider for publication. As you may
know, I have been a member of the old and well—known Smith
Brothers, Fisheries et al all my life.
In one of Smith Brothers old files, I recently came
across the enclosed correspondence, which we had kept all the years
since 1943 and 1944 when it was written. At that time, we thought
that the subject inquiry was so unique end amusing that we kept the
file separate from other correspondence and preserved it for what
purpose, except for “posterity,” etc.
Recently, as I was culling through and disposing of old
records of our company, I came across this material and decided
that the Wisconsin Marine Historical Society might find it
interesting enough to save or even publish it!
When we first received the November 3, 1943 letter, it
was dismissed as written by a prankster or even a “crackpot”! When
the follow-up inquiry was received my father Oliver Smith came to
believe that the subject matter was more than that and decided to
have some fun with it. So a little later, he contacted a friend,
Dr.
John Von Oosten – and the subsequent letters tell the whole
story.
I hope that you have fun with it too. You may keep the
letters.
Sincerely,
Lincoln Smith Here is the first letter that Lincoln’s father received November of 1943, regarding small anecdotal questions regarding caviar and Whitefish, that appear to be tearing a marriage apart. The customer and author of the letter’s name has been with held for confidentiality.1943 November 3
Smith Bros.
Port Washington, Wisconsin
Gentlemen;
I am asking you to come to my rescue by supplying a
little information concerning your caviar.
It seems that every morning, for breakfast, me husband
and I eat a little of your caviar which is very delicious but my
husband insists on dividing your one ounce equally between he and I
and in order to do this we would like to know how many fish eggs
are contained therein. It doesn’t matter to me if he eats a few
more eggs than me but he is so crabby and cranky early in the
morning and just insists on this equal division. If you could
possibly inform me as to the exact number of Whitefish eggs
contained in that one ounce package we could thereby divide this
package and thereby divert an impending divorce, please see what on
can do in this matter.
Another question that has been bothering me,
personally, is this. In making your caviar out of these Whitefish
eggs do you interfere with the love-life of the Whitefish?
Thanking you in advance for your indulgence in this
matter and hoping for an early reply as this situation is acute. I
remain,
Very Sincerely,
After two month of waiting, the distraught wife writes
to Smith Bros. again, hoping this time that she will get an answer.
The second letter which appears at the top of the next page is much
less patient than the first.
After the second letter Lincoln’s father, Oliver
realized that this customer wished a response no matter how
ridiculous some may find the request. So, in the nature of good
customer service, in response to the concerned wife’s letter Mr.
Oliver Smith, then President of Smith Bros., went out of his way to
consult an ichthyologist and member of the U.S. Department of the
Interior (now part of the Department of Natural Resources) to get
the woman the answer she wished to receive, despite what the
professor’s judgment would be regarding the matter.
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